Without consent

My abuser enjoyed taking compromising photos of me on his phone, often when I was unaware he was doing so. Once, I noticed him snapping photos of me from where he was sitting on the bed after I’d just come out of the shower and was getting dressed. I was heavily pregnant at the time.

Taken aback, I asked him what he was doing and he showed me the nude photographs he’d just taken of me without my consent. Horrified, I told him to delete them immediately and made clear to him it wasn’t acceptable to do that. Whilst he appeared to do as I asked on that occasion, I have no doubt that wasn’t the only time he snapped surreptitious explicit photos of me.

He would sometimes tell me he’d send nude photographs of me to my boss if I didn’t do as he asked. Of course, I didn’t believe him as doing so would have been a crime and not something you’d usually send to a senior partner at a law firm, but it was still totally unacceptable and showed a level of misogyny I had never encountered before.

If someone tries to show you explicit photographs of another person turn and walk away. Better still, tell them it’s not OK.  This type of behaviour is deeply troubling and often indicative of a serious disregard for the autonomy, privacy and dignity of other people.