Dear False Allegation Brigade,
False allegations are real. If you have been the target of false allegations of domestic abuse then you are also a victim of abuse. False allegations of abuse of any kind (domestic, sexual) destroy livelihoods, reputations and, tragically, end innocent lives.
False allegations are also far rarer than you make them out to be.
Victims of domestic abuse are rarely happy to admit they ‘fell for an abuser’. Admitting what happened to them is often deeply embarrassing, shameful and re-traumatising. Where victims are being totally transparent, it may also involve admitting to things they themselves did in response to the abuse and of which they are not proud. That may include (but is not limited to) reactive abuse, self-harming, lying to their loved ones to protect their abuser and even placing their children in harm’s way.
Victims who make genuine claims of abuse sometimes find themselves identified incorrectly as the abuser by authorities or their allegations may lead to intrusive child protection investigations which cause further harm to their families. Either way, having the courage to report abuse often swallows you into a system that you’d never wish to be a part of.
Disclosing details of abuse is also highly triggering for many victims. Very few people wish to put themselves through that trauma or take the risks associated with making up false allegations purely out of spite.
If you are accusing someone of making up false allegations in relation to domestic abuse, I challenge you to think through what the consequences are for them in doing so. The personal consequences – including public humiliation, damage to their reputation and destruction of their families – pale in comparison to the potential legal (civil or criminal) consequences they would face if their allegations were found to have been fabricated by a court.
What is far more likely is the person with nothing to lose (because they know full well that they are a domestic abuser who absolutely did all the things they are accused of) simply denies all wrongdoing and says their victim made it all up. It’s a last, desperate attempt at escaping accountability as the burden of proof is on the accuser/victim and the evidential threshold is, quite rightly, very high and difficult to prove at both the civil and criminal standard.
A good rule of thumb is to see whose story remains the same over long periods of time and irrespective of what evidence emerges. Flat out denial usually becomes the strategy only when there is no correlation between your story and the facts to begin with.
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